{"id":4345,"date":"2016-04-24T22:16:12","date_gmt":"2016-04-24T20:16:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/?p=4345"},"modified":"2016-04-24T22:24:30","modified_gmt":"2016-04-24T20:24:30","slug":"pa-besok-i-det-forflutna","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/04\/24\/pa-besok-i-det-forflutna\/","title":{"rendered":"P\u00e5 bes\u00f6k i det f\u00f6rflutna&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;eller n\u00e5got \u00e5t det h\u00e5llet. Det \u00e4r tre \u00e5r och fyra m\u00e5nader sedan min pappa dog, tiden g\u00e5r. Antalet g\u00e5nger jag varit hem till min styvmor sedan dess kan r\u00e4knas ena handens fingrar. En anledning\u00a0till att det inte blivit fler g\u00e5nger \u00e4r f\u00f6r att jag tyckt det varit jobbigt eftersom hon bodde kvar i huset d\u00e4r de bodde tillsammans, i huset d\u00e4r jag bodde fr\u00e5n jag var 12 till jag flyttade hemifr\u00e5n. M\u00e5nga minnen, en del bra men tyv\u00e4rr \u00e4ven m\u00e5nga d\u00e5liga. Det har varit konstigt att vara d\u00e4r efter han dog, han saknades. Jag kommer ih\u00e5g n\u00e4r vi var d\u00e4r innan begravningen och min farbror kom in i vardagsrummet d\u00e4r vi satt. Han s\u00e5g precis ut som pappa, samma kroppsh\u00e5llning, samma l\u00e4ngd.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303.jpg\"><img data-attachment-id=\"4347\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/img_9303\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"800,800\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"img_9303\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303-300x300.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303-600x600.jpg\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-4347 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"625\" height=\"625\" srcset=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303.jpg 800w, https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303-290x290.jpg 290w, https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303-600x600.jpg 600w, https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_9303-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 625px) 100vw, 625px\" \/><\/a>Men hur som helst, idag var jag dit. Min styvmor har s\u00e5lt huset, n\u00e5got hon enligt mig borde gjort f\u00f6r l\u00e4nge sedan eftersom det varit s\u00e5mycket jobb med ved och tomt. Nu h\u00e5ller hon p\u00e5 att rensa ur och hade tre kassar med massa skolb\u00f6cker och skrivh\u00e4ften som\u00a0var mina. Skrivh\u00e4ften fr\u00e5n l\u00e5gstadiet upp till gymnasiet, jag visste inte ens att allt det fanns kvar. K\u00e4ndes skumt att l\u00e4sa sitt klotter fr\u00e5n tr\u00e5kiga lektioner i h\u00f6gstadiet, om olycklig k\u00e4rlek och dumma l\u00e4rare. Eller att se sin f\u00f6rsta mattebok. Jag valde att spara tre saker, en p\u00e5se jag sytt i sysl\u00f6jden, ett album med bokm\u00e4rken (visserligen inte fr\u00e5n skoltiden men en sak fr\u00e5n barndomen) och en arbetsbok fr\u00e5n lekis. I boken\u00a0hade jag ritat ett fint sj\u00e4lvportr\u00e4tt, kunde inte sl\u00e4nga den. Men allt annat sl\u00e4ngs, s\u00e5g ingen anledning till att spara p\u00e5 det.<\/p>\n<p><small>\u203a\u203a 55\/100 #blogg100<\/small><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Dela:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-4345\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/04\/24\/pa-besok-i-det-forflutna\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/04\/24\/pa-besok-i-det-forflutna\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-pinterest-4345\" class=\"share-pinterest sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/04\/24\/pa-besok-i-det-forflutna\/?share=pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p class=\"excerpt\">&#8230;eller n\u00e5got \u00e5t det h\u00e5llet. Det \u00e4r tre \u00e5r och fyra m\u00e5nader sedan min pappa dog, tiden g\u00e5r. Antalet g\u00e5nger jag varit hem till min styvmor sedan dess kan r\u00e4knas ena handens fingrar. En anledning\u00a0till att det inte blivit fler g\u00e5nger \u00e4r f\u00f6r att jag tyckt det varit jobbigt eftersom hon bodde kvar i huset d\u00e4r de bodde tillsammans, i&hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/04\/24\/pa-besok-i-det-forflutna\/\">Read more &rarr;<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Dela:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-4345\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/04\/24\/pa-besok-i-det-forflutna\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/04\/24\/pa-besok-i-det-forflutna\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-pinterest-4345\" class=\"share-pinterest sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/04\/24\/pa-besok-i-det-forflutna\/?share=pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"P\u00e5 bes\u00f6k i det f\u00f6rflutna... #blogg100","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[359,78,344],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p23rAr-185","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3150,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/11\/09\/dromde-om-pappa\/","url_meta":{"origin":4345,"position":0},"title":"Dr\u00f6mde om pappa","date":"09 november 2013, 14:55","format":false,"excerpt":"Tidigare i veckan dr\u00f6mde jag f\u00f6r f\u00f6rsta g\u00e5ngen om pappa, eller i alla fall f\u00f6rsta dr\u00f6mmen som jag kommer ih\u00e5g. Jag hade cyklat hem till min styvmor, allts\u00e5 hem till huset d\u00e4r jag sj\u00e4lv bodde fr\u00e5n jag var tolv tills jag flyttade hemifr\u00e5n. Detta \u00e4r n\u00e5got som jag inte skulle\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3024,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/08\/03\/ett-arv-rikare\/","url_meta":{"origin":4345,"position":1},"title":"Ett arv rikare...","date":"03 augusti 2013, 01:07","format":false,"excerpt":"...och en pappa fattigare. Eller en pappa fattigare har jag ju varit sedan i december och ang\u00e5ende ett arv rikare s\u00e5 var det bara halva arvet som vi fick idag, allt i enlighet med pappas testamente. Fast helst av allt hade jag sluppit att f\u00e5 arvet utbetalat idag och haft\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":227,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2009\/05\/22\/begravningen\/","url_meta":{"origin":4345,"position":2},"title":"Begravningen","date":"22 maj 2009, 22:37","format":false,"excerpt":"Hade t\u00e4nkt skriva tidigare men det har inte blivit av. Hade t\u00e4nkt ha med ett fotografi p\u00e5 min lilla farmor n\u00e4r hon har mig i kn\u00e4t, endast tio dagar gammal. Men jag har inte orkat leta fram det. Min lilla farmor begravdes f\u00f6rra helgen, hon dog en m\u00e5nad f\u00f6re sin\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/090522-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2281,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/01\/06\/begravningen-time-to-say-goodbye\/","url_meta":{"origin":4345,"position":3},"title":"Begravningen - time to say goodbye","date":"06 januari 2013, 00:39","format":false,"excerpt":"Tre veckor har g\u00e5tt sedan pappa dog, tre veckor som k\u00e4nns v\u00e4ldigt l\u00e5nga men samtidigt korta. Ibland k\u00e4nns det s\u00e5 overkligt, jag f\u00f6rst\u00e5r inte att han \u00e4r borta. Vi hade inte s\u00e5 mycket kontakt, vi pratade ibland n\u00e5gon g\u00e5ng per m\u00e5nad men oftast var det nog varannan. Jag tr\u00e4ffade honom\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2272,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/01\/02\/begravning-i-morgon\/","url_meta":{"origin":4345,"position":4},"title":"Begravning i morgon...","date":"02 januari 2013, 23:33","format":false,"excerpt":"...och jag har redan ont i huvudet. K\u00e4nns lovande, verkligen lovande. B\u00e4var s\u00e5 inf\u00f6r morgondagen och \u00f6nskar att jag slapp den. I morgon blir det s\u00e5 d\u00e4r verkligt igen. Att han inte finns. Att han aldrig kommer finnas mer. Framf\u00f6r mig ser jag hur han ligger i kistan, som han\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5036,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2017\/05\/29\/hej-da-mora\/","url_meta":{"origin":4345,"position":5},"title":"Hej d\u00e5 Mora!","date":"29 maj 2017, 22:44","format":false,"excerpt":"Som jag kommer att sakna denna utsikt! \u00d6sterdal\u00e4lven och bergen! Visst, den hade varit \u00e4nnu finare\u00a0om n\u00e5gra tr\u00e4d hade f\u00f6rsvunnit och det r\u00f6da huset inte hade st\u00e5tt i v\u00e4gen, men man kan inte f\u00e5 allt. Det h\u00e4r har varit min utsikt fr\u00e5n min balkong och mitt vardagsrumsf\u00f6nster under n\u00e4stan tre\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/utsikten-600x450.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4345"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4345"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4345\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4354,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4345\/revisions\/4354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}