{"id":3126,"date":"2013-09-22T14:13:36","date_gmt":"2013-09-22T12:13:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/?p=3126"},"modified":"2013-09-22T14:13:36","modified_gmt":"2013-09-22T12:13:36","slug":"pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/09\/22\/pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism\/","title":{"rendered":"P\u00e5 grund av din alkoholism"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Det fanns m\u00e5nga stunder d\u00e5 du var en usel pappa. P\u00e5 grund av din alkoholism.<br \/>\nDet fanns m\u00e5nga stunder d\u00e5 jag var en usel dotter. P\u00e5 grund av din alkoholism.<\/p>\n<p>F\u00f6rl\u00e5t. Din f\u00f6rl\u00e5telse kan jag aldrig f\u00e5, men jag tror du hade bett om f\u00f6rl\u00e5telse om du du kunnat.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c4r hemma, st\u00e4dar. N\u00e5got jag brukar g\u00f6ra n\u00e4r jag inte m\u00e5r bra och just nu \u00e4r jag i slutet av en kur av Primolut-Nor och med de hormonerna i kroppen m\u00e5r jag s\u00e4llan bra. M\u00e5nga tankar som kommer upp till ytan, som s\u00e5 m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger sedan min f\u00f6delsedag s\u00e5 t\u00e4nker jag p\u00e5 pappa. Kan liksom inte l\u00e5ta bli, g\u00e5r i genom i tankarna m\u00e5nga jobbiga stunder fr\u00e5n min uppv\u00e4xt (de vill s\u00e4ga de jag minns) och \u00e4ven jobbiga stunder fr\u00e5n senare i livet. Bearbetar. S\u00e5 m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger jag varit f\u00f6rbannad, s\u00e5 m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger jag varit f\u00f6rtvivlad och s\u00e5 m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger jag \u00f6nskat att jag haft andra f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar. F\u00f6rl\u00e5t pappa, men s\u00e5 var det.<\/p>\n<p>Men jag vet en sak, jag saknar dig. F\u00f6rl\u00e5t pappa f\u00f6r att jag ibland var en s\u00e5dan usel dotter.<\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Dela:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-3126\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/09\/22\/pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/09\/22\/pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-pinterest-3126\" class=\"share-pinterest sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/09\/22\/pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism\/?share=pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p class=\"excerpt\">Det fanns m\u00e5nga stunder d\u00e5 du var en usel pappa. P\u00e5 grund av din alkoholism. Det fanns m\u00e5nga stunder d\u00e5 jag var en usel dotter. P\u00e5 grund av din alkoholism. F\u00f6rl\u00e5t. Din f\u00f6rl\u00e5telse kan jag aldrig f\u00e5, men jag tror du hade bett om f\u00f6rl\u00e5telse om du du kunnat. \u00c4r hemma, st\u00e4dar. N\u00e5got jag brukar g\u00f6ra n\u00e4r jag inte m\u00e5r&hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/09\/22\/pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism\/\">Read more &rarr;<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Dela:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-3126\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/09\/22\/pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/09\/22\/pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-pinterest-3126\" class=\"share-pinterest sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/09\/22\/pa-grund-av-din-alkoholism\/?share=pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[154,344,424,97],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p23rAr-Oq","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2281,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/01\/06\/begravningen-time-to-say-goodbye\/","url_meta":{"origin":3126,"position":0},"title":"Begravningen - time to say goodbye","date":"06 januari 2013, 00:39","format":false,"excerpt":"Tre veckor har g\u00e5tt sedan pappa dog, tre veckor som k\u00e4nns v\u00e4ldigt l\u00e5nga men samtidigt korta. Ibland k\u00e4nns det s\u00e5 overkligt, jag f\u00f6rst\u00e5r inte att han \u00e4r borta. Vi hade inte s\u00e5 mycket kontakt, vi pratade ibland n\u00e5gon g\u00e5ng per m\u00e5nad men oftast var det nog varannan. Jag tr\u00e4ffade honom\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3024,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/08\/03\/ett-arv-rikare\/","url_meta":{"origin":3126,"position":1},"title":"Ett arv rikare...","date":"03 augusti 2013, 01:07","format":false,"excerpt":"...och en pappa fattigare. Eller en pappa fattigare har jag ju varit sedan i december och ang\u00e5ende ett arv rikare s\u00e5 var det bara halva arvet som vi fick idag, allt i enlighet med pappas testamente. Fast helst av allt hade jag sluppit att f\u00e5 arvet utbetalat idag och haft\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2272,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/01\/02\/begravning-i-morgon\/","url_meta":{"origin":3126,"position":2},"title":"Begravning i morgon...","date":"02 januari 2013, 23:33","format":false,"excerpt":"...och jag har redan ont i huvudet. K\u00e4nns lovande, verkligen lovande. B\u00e4var s\u00e5 inf\u00f6r morgondagen och \u00f6nskar att jag slapp den. I morgon blir det s\u00e5 d\u00e4r verkligt igen. Att han inte finns. Att han aldrig kommer finnas mer. Framf\u00f6r mig ser jag hur han ligger i kistan, som han\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3049,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/08\/08\/den-dar-barnlosheten-igen\/","url_meta":{"origin":3126,"position":3},"title":"Den d\u00e4r barnl\u00f6sheten igen","date":"08 augusti 2013, 23:15","format":false,"excerpt":"Som vanligt s\u00e5 \u00e4r den st\u00e4ndigt n\u00e4rvarande, som en efterh\u00e4ngsen v\u00e4n\/ov\u00e4n som jag inte kan skaka av mig. Poppar fram vid v\u00e4ntade som ov\u00e4ntade tillf\u00e4llen f\u00f6r att skratta mig rakt i ansiktet, f\u00f6r att g\u00f6ra mig ledsen. Ibland \u00e4r det ren dumhet fr\u00e5n min sida att jag blir p\u00e5mind. S\u00e5\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om barnl\u00f6sheten&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2733,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/03\/18\/och-snon-den-faller\/","url_meta":{"origin":3126,"position":4},"title":"Och sn\u00f6n den faller","date":"18 mars 2013, 23:13","format":false,"excerpt":"M\u00e5nga \u00e4r ni som idag har gn\u00e4llt lite extra f\u00f6r att det har sn\u00f6at, mina arbetskamrater var inte glada, folk p\u00e5 Twitter var inte glada, f\u00f6r att inte tala om alla p\u00e5 Facebook - de var inte heller glada. Men jag var. Glad allts\u00e5. Jag tycker om sn\u00f6n. Jag tycker\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":570,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2009\/08\/05\/brollopsdag-men-anda-inte\/","url_meta":{"origin":3126,"position":5},"title":"Br\u00f6llopsdag, men \u00e4nd\u00e5 inte","date":"05 augusti 2009, 23:54","format":false,"excerpt":"Idag skulle det ha varit min nionde br\u00f6llopsdag, men det blev aldrig mer \u00e4n fem. Trots att det var jag som tog initiativet till att jag och exmannen br\u00f6t upp s\u00e5 k\u00e4nns det vemodigt idag. K\u00e4nslor som snurrar, tankar om misslyckande och att jag \u00e4r v\u00e4rdel\u00f6s, som vanligt. Jag vet\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om vardagen&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3126"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3126"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3126\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3127,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3126\/revisions\/3127"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}