{"id":1748,"date":"2011-08-29T00:36:49","date_gmt":"2011-08-28T22:36:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/?p=1748"},"modified":"2011-08-29T01:20:06","modified_gmt":"2011-08-28T23:20:06","slug":"mitt-monster-har-vaknat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2011\/08\/29\/mitt-monster-har-vaknat\/","title":{"rendered":"Mitt monster har vaknat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Mitt monster har vaknat. Hon brukar ligga slumrande l\u00e5ng inne i min hj\u00e4rna men det senaste \u00e5ret har hon l\u00e5ngsamt b\u00f6rjat vakna till liv, nu \u00e4r hon vaken och har brytit sig ur sin bur. Hon f\u00e5r sin n\u00e4ring av blodet som konstant rinner ur mig och medicinen jag tvingas \u00e4ta trots att den inte hj\u00e4lper. Hon \u00e4r h\u00f6gljudd, skriker inom mig. Ingen h\u00f6r f\u00f6rutom jag. Hon \u00e4r ledsen, f\u00f6rtvivlad och f\u00f6rbannat tr\u00f6tt p\u00e5 att finnas till. Avundsamheten finns d\u00e4r, hon ser allt, h\u00f6r allt. H\u00e5nar mig, tycker jag \u00e4r v\u00e4rdel\u00f6s, att det \u00e4r r\u00e4tt \u00e5t mig.<\/p>\n<p>Mitt monster har vaknat. Hon heter Barnl\u00f6shet. Ofrivillig Barnl\u00f6shet. Jag \u00f6nskar jag var stark nog att l\u00e5sa in henne igen. <\/p>\n<p>Men jag orkar inte. <\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Dela:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-1748\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2011\/08\/29\/mitt-monster-har-vaknat\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2011\/08\/29\/mitt-monster-har-vaknat\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-pinterest-1748\" class=\"share-pinterest sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2011\/08\/29\/mitt-monster-har-vaknat\/?share=pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p class=\"excerpt\">Mitt monster har vaknat. Hon brukar ligga slumrande l\u00e5ng inne i min hj\u00e4rna men det senaste \u00e5ret har hon l\u00e5ngsamt b\u00f6rjat vakna till liv, nu \u00e4r hon vaken och har brytit sig ur sin bur. Hon f\u00e5r sin n\u00e4ring av blodet som konstant rinner ur mig och medicinen jag tvingas \u00e4ta trots att den inte hj\u00e4lper. Hon \u00e4r h\u00f6gljudd, skriker&hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2011\/08\/29\/mitt-monster-har-vaknat\/\">Read more &rarr;<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Dela:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-1748\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2011\/08\/29\/mitt-monster-har-vaknat\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela p\u00e5 Twitter (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2011\/08\/29\/mitt-monster-har-vaknat\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r utskrift (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-pinterest-1748\" class=\"share-pinterest sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2011\/08\/29\/mitt-monster-har-vaknat\/?share=pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest\"><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Klicka f\u00f6r att dela till Pinterest (\u00d6ppnas i ett nytt f\u00f6nster)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p23rAr-sc","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5029,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2017\/05\/27\/ofrivilligt-barnlosas-dag-2017-mar-jag-alltid-bra-i-min-barnloshet\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":0},"title":"Ofrivilligt barnl\u00f6sas dag 2017 - m\u00e5r jag alltid bra i min barnl\u00f6shet?","date":"27 maj 2017, 22:59","format":false,"excerpt":"S\u00e5 var det \u00e5ter den dag p\u00e5 \u00e5ret, dagen f\u00f6re mors dag,\u00a0dagen d\u00e5 vi uppm\u00e4rksammar alla som har sv\u00e5righeter att bli f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar. Jag har ett tag tillbaka funderat p\u00e5 vad jag skulle skriva om i \u00e5r, jag k\u00e4nner att mina tidigare inl\u00e4gg p\u00e5 denna dag har varit ganska utt\u00f6mmande men\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om barnl\u00f6sheten&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2771,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2013\/03\/28\/blandade-tankar-fran-dagen-hopp-och-barnloshet\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":1},"title":"Blandade tankar fr\u00e5n dagen, hopp och barnl\u00f6shet","date":"28 mars 2013, 21:35","format":false,"excerpt":"Sk\u00e4rtorsdag. Jobbdag. H\u00e4r och var har jag h\u00f6rt ryktas om att vissa har jobbat halvdag, att vissa har \"jobbat hemma\" den halva dag som de var tvungna att jobba. Jag? Halvdag? Inte heller, jag hade av n\u00e5gon anledning lagt in en extra l\u00e5ng dag, 8-17. Extra roligt n\u00e4r man jobbat\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om barnl\u00f6sheten&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/hoppfull.nu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/hoppmirakel-206x290.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4176,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2016\/03\/10\/barnloshet-utanforskap\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":2},"title":"Barnl\u00f6shet = utanf\u00f6rskap?","date":"10 mars 2016, 21:31","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag b\u00f6rjade denna fj\u00e4rde sjukdag att l\u00e4sa om parnormen\/pargemenskapen\u00a0inne hos Fredrik. Det fick mig att t\u00e4nka, inte s\u00e5 mycket p\u00e5 den utanf\u00f6rskap som kommer av att man \u00e4r singel. Nej, jag t\u00e4nkte p\u00e5 den utanf\u00f6rskap som kommer sig av att vara barnl\u00f6s. Nu har jag ju mer eller mindre valt\u2026","rel":"","context":"I &quot;om barnl\u00f6sheten&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4991,"url":"https:\/\/hoppfull.nu\/index.php\/2017\/05\/13\/se-upp-till-mig\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":3},"title":"Se upp till mig?","date":"13 maj 2017, 22:51","format":false,"excerpt":"F\u00f6r lite mer \u00e4n tio \u00e5r sedan blev jag f\u00e4rdig sjuksk\u00f6terska, idag var vi ett g\u00e4ng som tr\u00e4ffades f\u00f6r att \"fira\" detta. 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